FAQ: What happen to you? Part II

Sleeping in the hospital in awful. The sound, the smell, the sight, the bed, etc. It's a whole new experience for me because it was my first time and sekali kena 9days 8nights. A friend told me that some of them sound like they're gonna 'go' anytime. And it's pretty true. There were also times where I didn't get out of my bed for 3days. Imagine, the bed sheets weren't changed and I peed on it a few times. =( sucky when you are immobile.

ice compressor to reduce swelling

They inserted a tube in my knee to draw out those excessive fluid in my knee. The colour of the fluid is yellowish. Looks like pee and that's clean fluid. It's weird when you have things like this stuck in your body. Any slight movement from my knee hurts badly for the first 3 days after surgery. My mood was really really crappy! I snapped at my mum and gf. I really feel bad for my mum especially. She was there for me throughout my suffering. She had to throw my urine and feed me, clean me, etc and yet get all those crap from me. I really suck.

tube in my knee

After they removed the tube from my knee (which was also painful), I started doing a little bending with the help of a machine. I couldn't even bend for more than 30degrees. It was really bad. The following day, I was brought to the physiotherapy ward for further exercises. I was really happy when both my feet touched the ground, standing. I almost teared, too kamtong.

the bending machine

Finally, doctor gave me the green light to go home when I could walk with crutches. Felt happy and relieve that I could go home. The polluted air outside the hospital felt good. The sound of traffic jam, ahhhhhh...it's the sound of F-R-E-E-D-O-M.

I really wanna thank my friends for visiting me. It really mean a lot to me! The thought, the flowers, the prayers, the laughter, everything just made me feel better. Thank you and I really appreciate you guys and girls for turning up. =)

To be continue.

FAQ: What happen to you?

This question is getting on my nerves already. I'll explained here once and for all. One fine day, I was crossing the road. I was talking on the phone, hence concentration was significantly reduced to 10%. I heard someone screaming, "STOP!!!!" but I just ignored it. A car cruising about 50km/h came and hit my right knee and it broke. My knee cap went backwards like those big birds. Ostrich? My knee cap was so badly damaged that I a knee cap replacement was required. Hence, I'm a little handicap now.

Just joking ^^

It all happen a month ago, it was Hari Malaysia (16th September 2010). I went to Adventist because both my eyes were super bloody red and swollen, I had UTI and my right knee cap was swollen. I couldn't walk properly and I was limping. Doc advised me to be admitted and further test are required for diagnosis.

Test 1
Did an eye swab. Ophthalmologist suspect that I have bacteria infection in my eyes.

Test 2
Took blood. But blood couldn't flow out. Only succeeded after the 4th attempt. (4 pricks)

Test 3
Saw an orthopedic. Sent me for X-ray but nothing was wrong. He said my knee was filled with fluid. So he said need to suck it out. I asked how? He said by injection. Ask me to lie down, put a plastic around my knee and the process begun. KNN! Suck out 50cc of fluid and got prick 5 times (9pricks). I was in pain, tears started to run down my cheeks. I can't walk anymore. The fluid was send for lab testing.

Later that night, the orthopedic came to my ward showing me the lab report. Don't understand a thing, saw something something bacteria = few. Phewwwww...a few bacteria nia ma. No big deal. So I asked him what should we do. He said need to operate. KNN! First time got admitted...must go under the knife d. I've never even done a x-ray before. And needles stucking in my body (IV) lagi tak pernah. Called my mum told her about it. Got very scared and nervous.

Surgery day
Was expecting them to shave me off. But they did not. Nurse gave me a special shampoo to bathe, wore the hospital gown and off I went. A nurse wheeled me to the operating theater. As we got closer it got colder. Sign the papers and I'm in. An anesthetist showed me a lying position picture, he asked me to imitate that post. I did and he injected my back (5th prick), most probably my spinal cord. He told me he'll just numb half my body and I will feel 'bah bah and song song'. KNN! People don't wanna be awake le. Just put me to sleep. After I complained, I think he also bth. Hence, put me to sleep.

When I woke up. It was hell! I was in pain. So much pain that I needed morphine. And this time to inserted something in my left chest(6th prick). really KNN. It was more painful than my knee. What kinda pain killer is this? Sometimes they inject it in my ass (7th and 8th prick) sometimes through the chest.

for morphine jabs

To be continue.

[talking about this really makes me feel all angry and upset again. so pardon my language]

I Have Arthritis

I was in the car with my dad, we just dropped mum off at Guardian to get new dressing for my knee. Dad knew I was down and disturbed even though it has been 2 weeks after my surgery. He told me this, "Trials and testings come from God, temptation comes from the devil. What you're going through is from God". This really strucked me hard because if this is from God, it must be God's will to achieve something bigger in my life.

I have people coming in and out telling me that this is a wake up call, a reminder, a caution, etc from God. How true is this to me? I would say, they are damn right about this. No matter how much I try to run and deny that He is real, I could not because I would somehow be reminded by my parents, pastors during the sermon, friends and a still small voice in me that God really loves me and I can never run away from Him. I felt like I was Jonah.

My dad then encourage me with James 1:2-8

Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does.

I remember using this verse to encourage my fellow Innebandiens during our hardcore physical training I used to conduct. I told them consider this as pure joy when you're suffering physically because you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. How can I know be reminded of something I've shared. I really wanna thank my dad for this reminder.

For the past week, I have been very down and negative about the whole incident. I worry a lot, not knowing what my sports life would be in the future. Will I still be able to come back into competitive sports and finish my first full marathon? It scares me knowing this is a long term disease. Who would expect me to fall into this category? I am only 24 and I have so much I wanna achive and do. No one would expect me to get arthritis. It happen so sudden and even the doctors can't explain.

But I've came to a realization that we aren't immortal and iron as we think we are. God gives and He takes as well. Not easy to be in my situation but I believe this happen for a bigger cause and purpose. =) Just continue to support me by praying for wisdom and strength.

Dad: Be patient, total healing takes time.
Me: I can't seem to stay positive 24/7 =/ feel weak mentally
Dad: Your handicap affect your mind, so use your mind to affect your handicap.
Me: chim...okay will try. thanks dad

That's my dad ^^