I Have Arthritis

I was in the car with my dad, we just dropped mum off at Guardian to get new dressing for my knee. Dad knew I was down and disturbed even though it has been 2 weeks after my surgery. He told me this, "Trials and testings come from God, temptation comes from the devil. What you're going through is from God". This really strucked me hard because if this is from God, it must be God's will to achieve something bigger in my life.

I have people coming in and out telling me that this is a wake up call, a reminder, a caution, etc from God. How true is this to me? I would say, they are damn right about this. No matter how much I try to run and deny that He is real, I could not because I would somehow be reminded by my parents, pastors during the sermon, friends and a still small voice in me that God really loves me and I can never run away from Him. I felt like I was Jonah.

My dad then encourage me with James 1:2-8

Consider it pure joy, my brothers, whenever you face trials of many kinds, because you know that the testing of your faith develops perseverance. Perseverance must finish its work so that you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. If any of you lacks wisdom, he should ask God, who gives generously to all without finding fault, and it will be given to him. But when he asks, he must believe and not doubt, because he who doubts is like a wave of the sea, blown and tossed by the wind. That man should not think he will receive anything from the Lord; he is a double-minded man, unstable in all he does.

I remember using this verse to encourage my fellow Innebandiens during our hardcore physical training I used to conduct. I told them consider this as pure joy when you're suffering physically because you may be mature and complete, not lacking anything. How can I know be reminded of something I've shared. I really wanna thank my dad for this reminder.

For the past week, I have been very down and negative about the whole incident. I worry a lot, not knowing what my sports life would be in the future. Will I still be able to come back into competitive sports and finish my first full marathon? It scares me knowing this is a long term disease. Who would expect me to fall into this category? I am only 24 and I have so much I wanna achive and do. No one would expect me to get arthritis. It happen so sudden and even the doctors can't explain.

But I've came to a realization that we aren't immortal and iron as we think we are. God gives and He takes as well. Not easy to be in my situation but I believe this happen for a bigger cause and purpose. =) Just continue to support me by praying for wisdom and strength.

Dad: Be patient, total healing takes time.
Me: I can't seem to stay positive 24/7 =/ feel weak mentally
Dad: Your handicap affect your mind, so use your mind to affect your handicap.
Me: chim...okay will try. thanks dad

That's my dad ^^